Tell Me (Life test questions)

s_Hotzs:

Grade yourself -___-

Originally posted on 19th Street:

Life sets the test questions, I sit back and grade your scores

There’s the test of money. How long does money stay in your hand? Does it flee or does it come to you?

There’s the test of caring. Yes you care for me but is that your nature or you just doing a business transaction?

There’s the test of we against the world. If everyone in the world was against me and I was honestly innocent, would you stand by me?

There’s the test of physical attraction. Can your body talk to my body and we have an organic interaction full of soul?

There’s the test of maturity. What does external pressure do to you? Bring out the best or the worst?

There’s the test of stayability and finishability. Do you finish your long term projects or you keep finding new short term ones? Cos we in this for…

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Do You Know Me?

Originally posted on DISCLAIMER: NOT HUMAN:

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Poem/SpokenWord -Do You Know Me

We’re in the UK

& That Weather Shii Cray

So I’ve slipped a couple times today

But that’s ok

I…*laughs*…I got you

Weather is not the subject today.

Let’s focus on less sunny issues.

 

Like:

 

Do you know what it means to be Chinese

Walk alone and you won’t feel at ease

Never get a mere ‘Ní hâo’ except when they need help with Math

I study art & music but no one bothered to ask

*scoff* How stereotypical I say in my mind

But deep down I don’t really mind

So I go ahead & help anyway

I’m ecstatic for the little interaction any day

Even though… its momentary

& friendship is..well..a phenomenon that tarry

I am more things than my language or appearance

Do you know me? I am my likes, dislikes. I love culture

———————————————————————————-

Do you…

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s_Hotzs:

Hmmmmm.

Originally posted on Musings of a Moonchild!:

Its a rainy night and the heavenly clouds fall down in broken streaks. They remind me of tears these drops and I wish heaven would bless my cheeks with torrents like these.
The way the moon defies the clouds and paints a contrasting picture of silver and grey on the eastern horizon reminds me of his eyes.
His wise brown eyes set in deep sockets that eclipse the colour of his brown skin. He loves the moon almost as much as I love those eyes and their glint in the darkness that was my life. The way they lit up as his words washed away the soot coating my heart much like the rain does the dust on my windows now.
I marvel at the clarity of this rainy night and the irony of the raging storm within me;a stark painful contrast.
There’s a tornado within me churning my insides…

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The Unseen…..

image

We see you. You intrigue us, to no end, the lot of you. From the moment you open your eyes to the world onto the moment Azaril comes to escort your soul out of it. You are a lot like us, but at the same time, we are far removed. Daily, do we give thanks for our separation. You are the ones most favored by the Almighty; without a doubt, you are special. Even though you were the last to be created, you were made to be second to none in peerage. All were made to bow before you, including our ancestors. We had no choice but to obey the Creator, although one of us dared to refuse Him. Iblis, he was called then… Through the centuries, we have watched you. From the downfall at the garden, past the great flood, the Tower of Babel, down to the time of the crossing of the Red Sea. We were there when the ground swallowed Korab and all his treasures. Frankly, we are staggered by your limitless arrogance. The Almighty has raised you above us all, and loves you unconditionally. We do not understand it, and therefore try to understand you. We must admit, you are an enigma. You are physically weak, but make up for it in intelligence. You are also blessed with the ability to adapt. You are fertile, and spread bountifully across the earth. With the backing of the Omnipotent, no living thing is spiritually superior to you. You happen to be the only animals who walk upright. You have also been given knowledge, and what have you done with it? You are capable of great evil. We tire of how you lie to, steal from, hurt, oppress and murder each other in your greed and selfishness. In your self-aggrandisement, you forget that your mortal lives are but a collective grain of sand in the beach that is the hereafter. In your folly, you have begun to delude yourselves that you are gods. You forget your place! You have even corrupted some among our kind into imbibing your behaviour. You worship false gods and go as far as worshipping some among us. You bribe them with red mercury, all to persuade them into overhearing the daily announcements of destiny in heaven. More perplexing is the fact that they actually do it, even though it is suicidal. None but the malaika are allowed in heaven before their time, and any who dares to cross the boundary faces instant death. To our eternal shame, we have enabled some of you to be misled by false prophets, proclaiming stolen words, belonging to the Almighty. It is no wonder why He, in His boundless wisdom, keeps us unseen to you. It is for our safety. We will be fair- you are also capable of great acts of kindness. From the charity that is a simple smile, to the selfless philanthropy of giving all of one’s wealth to the needy. The unconditional love a parent has for a child. When we see the pious among you, we are reminded as to why The Lord loves you. The ones who submit to his mercy, and remember the hereafter: they may be your salvation. In retrospect, you are probably our salvation as well. We would be as arrogant as you are if we were to believe ourselves better than you. We still do not understand you, but we have learned by watching you. Despite the urge to put you down, we recognize your potential. We will continue to watch you, unseen. We are Jinn.

***

Thanks to Dayo Omidiran (@mromidiran) for sending this in. You can read more from him here http://papyrusczar.wordpress.com.

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Authors Notes: Iblis is also known as Lucifer. Malaika literally means “angels”. Korab was Moses’ major antagonist during the 40 year-long wandering of the Israelites. He was fabulously wealthy, and tried to rebel against Moses, so God swallowed him, his followers and all their possessions in the earth.

Dusk 15: Sa’id

Walks onto podium, shakes @0Toxic vigorously, waves at crowd…………………Hello my name is Sa’id, I am an addict.

*Flashes back to January 2012* Walking the streets of Kaduna, tie half knotted, shirt collar faded, roasted maize grabbed firmly. That was me submitting CVs from office to office, Solicited or Unsolicited.  You see I just quit my job, yes I did. You pay me peanuts and try to dictate my life at the same time, no Boss you don’t get to do that. To cut the long story short, or rather the rant, I left my wacked job with no plans of what to come, amidst all advice from friends and family, they kept saying hang in there things will change, I have been waiting for so long but it won’t, so damn all the advice I am doing this my way.

*January 13, 2013* Exactly a year after, and three promotions later; I sit in my office half the size of a football field, look at the line up of gadgets and the only thing I can whisper is “Alhamdullilah” Thank you Lord.

To the series theme proper: Hopes, dreams, expectations and fears…

Hope
Hmmmmmm, that’s a hard one, given the fact I lost hope a long time ago, *Snickers* throw faith in there somewhere. I can’t stand up to God cause I said some very terrible things to him in my trying times, I cursed, I blamed, I begged and just as I gave up on him, he turned my story around and I am so ashamed of myself I can’t bow to him in prayers. But he is “Allahu gafiru rahim”; the all forgiving. I intend to mend that bridge, I can’t do this alone, but some way somehow, he will come to my rescue as usual.

Dreams
I long for the day I work for fun and not for survival, I long for the day my wage stops being my wedge, the day color, size and taste becomes the reason I didn’t get that suit and not the price tag; dinner in Paris, breakfast in London, luxury cars, private jet etcetera etcetera…… wait!! Can’t a brother just want the simple things of life? -______-

Expectations
I work for a small financial company as an Analyst, I currently work for the Nigerian Sector, but I am hoping and praying that all the hard work I have put in get recognized and I get to work for the Holding, that is the mother company. “Father make board meetings in Paris my portion too”. Amen

Fears
I won’t sugar coat this, I will just go ahead and say it, my greatest fear is dying in the friend zone, imagine her telling me I am annoyingly nice <_<, but that will change very soon, I don’t care if I buy my way into DMs. On a more serious note I fear failure, I can’t afford to not succeed, I have tasted the good life and I am not giving it up for anything.

If you have read this far, I say thank you for listening to (reading) me rant. I am a shy person and can’t imagine writing my ordeal or experiences for others to read, that was why I chickened out from  dropping a piece on @HL_blue ‘s blog. But after reading what a lot of folks out there have to say, I was greatly inspired and decided to do this, this is wishing you all a prosperous and fruitful new year.

My name is Sa’id and I am addicted to success. *drops mic*

FWB

#NP How do I tell her ► R.Kelly, something must be wrong with my music player, it’s like the fourth time this song is playing….it’s either i set it on repeat unknowingly or I have got a shitty playlist…..#shikenan, but the dreadful part is me relating to the song or vice versa. How do you tell someone you don’t love them anymore…. love is a feeling u can’t quantify….things would have been a lot easier. If it goes like;’ hey, I am outta love’ just like your gas or DSTV subscription….but as it is with everything human……….. Complications d(0_0)b…….Don’t get me wrong , I am not going to do the whole cliché thing…..’It aint you but me’

 

 I met oluchi at a fast food joint, as usual I was in company of friends and of course they are girls. There she was looking so sweet with a confused look on her face, I prolly figured her guy stood her up…….how do I up my game? No asking for digits of course or else Tinam will have my balls for dinner….yels oh she is mother Hen like that. So I waited for the time-window frame, all ya physicist know what I am talking about – Schrödinger Eqn, she just won’t stop staring at the door, picked up her phone and hit speed dial……a ten seconds conversation ensured and she cursed out openly….such vulgarities from such a small mouth….and of course that gave me a solution to my Time- space conundrum. I quickly wrote on the paper napkin ‘if he makes u curse then he aint worth it…add me 31E2***’ walked up to her and said ‘this napkin is for your tears but read the message before soiling it’. She read it….nah no guy is worth my tears……..but thanks all the same was her response……for a VGBG that was all I needed, a convo starter….and I said not even tears of joy, I bet u aint shed those in a while….. She looked up and smiled….I see you don’t give up easily….my name is Lizzy but Oluchi to strangers, have a seat pls.

My name is Kelvin, and Kelvin it is to strangers too, too bad I can’t take up your offer…..see that feisty girl over there…the one in the pink gown, that’s my girlfriend and she is pretty furious……call me I said to her as I mouthed out my digits.   Back to my table, Tinam was all over me with her look of disgust and of course the mandatory EFCC questions…who was that? I feigned ignorance and ask if she was ready to leave….was kinda mad at her, not for the whole personal bodyguard role she likes to play but for the hole her friend was about to put in my pocket with her take away request.

 

It was a week after the whole debacle at the joint that I received a call from a strange number. Just closed from work and dead tired, can’t wait to get home to my warm bed. I picked the phone and at once I knew who the caller was…..Lisa, Linda, Lydia……just can’t remember her name (yes I am bad with names like that). I am ready to take you up on your offer….the tears of joy stuff…..and I went…. excuse me, who am I speaking with?  For a while I thought I hit the end button cause of the silence. Then I heard the voice….so you forget easily, never mind I called, take care….and I was like…..you wish!!! Wats up oluchi? Hope u good? Where u @?

 

I am on seventh street, opposite that MTN billboard, can you come pick me? I heard desperation in  her voice……and as a gentleman, the first rule is never to ignore a damsel in distress. Did a sharp u-turn without regard for the traffic lights but who cares, this is Naija.

Hello Chic where are you, I am parked across the street, Blue car, white neon Headlights

 

Dunno if it’s you I see, but…….did you just put off your headlights? okay I see you.

 

Few minutes later she was in my car looking all hawt and sexy……..hello there stranger?

And she goes is it ok if I sleep at your place tonight?

 

Erm Erm……you want to sleep at my place? You don’t even know me?

 

Never mind i knew it was the wrong move, just drop me off at the next stop.

 

Okay Okay, my God you are Feisty!!!!!! You want to sleep over, then sleep it is.

 

Hope i am not getting in the way of anything?

 

Nah, not to worry, nothing i can’t handle.

 

Here i am with a strange lady, not thinking of anything but the show down………men agro na bastard sha, since i aint getting any from Tinam at the moment, then this must be manna from heaven.

We barely made it to my place before she jumped on me, she was all over me, kissing and fondling………chai, this is the life (Rick Ross’s voice)………

I didn’t even bother taking off my clothes. As soon as the bedroom door was shut, i drew her forcefully to myself. She felt my member against her thigh and fought hard to hide her delight. She wondered if i was getting it from my woman…….

As i stroked her breasts through her shirt i whispered, “No bra. You came prepared.” She had obviously.No panties either, she said.

I swiftly pulled her shirt over her head, freeing her dainty breasts and sunk my lips onto them, biting her nipples. Hard!!!

From the response i got i knew she liked it……..Hmmmm, rough sex, i haven’t had that in a while.

 She noticed the slippery, sticky feeling between her upper thighs……..

Putting my arms around her waist, i lifted her onto the bed. She spread her legs and looked at me invitingly…

 

…she hadn’t expected me to go down on her or for it to be that good. My tongue bedazzled her and felt like it had always been a part of her, her lips welcomed me, she coated my face with…….

……I stopped just as suddenly as I’d started. Without further ado I unzipped my pants, brought out the thing and started the ride. Grabbing her arse and pulling her in one direction, i thrust fervidly in the other. I slammed myself into her groin harder and deeper, It was brutal. It was intense. It was painful. It was paradise.

 

The next time she was on top, dictating the tempo……

 

This of course was 6 months ago…..now i have had enough of the ‘fuckbuddy’ thing, she misunderstood SEX for BONDING and LUST for LOVE, i am done and out but how do i tell her? Honestly i have grown fond of her, the calmness, the petite shape, spotless set of teeth and a stride that could break necks…………..

I tried, trust me, i tried so hard but i just can’t replicate that feeling, she should have known better than to cross the line…you don’t mix business with pleasure.

How do you know when’s the right time to throw in the towel? What do you say when it’s all said and done? Where do you go to sort out your feelings? When nothing is like it was

There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart, I couldn’t keep this thing from falling a part

  

“Let He without Sin Cast the First Stone”

The Getting To know Me

So here we have a guest blogger who chooses to remain anonymous for *insert appropriate word* here. Read and comment, see ya on the flip side.

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Didn’t gain admission into the university immediately i finished secondary school, so i was home for a bit. Always used to complain to the Mother about the fact that i didn’t have friends. Well, i did, just that the ones that mattered were in school and i wasn’t. And she’d always tell me that it’ll get to a point in my life where i’ll have so many friends, i’ll be tired. Wise woman, my ma. So i finally started this predegree course and i did have friends and i was happy…for a while.

Who are friends? Or more to the point, what exactly is friendship? I don’t have the answer to this questions and i doubt i ever will. All i know is that more times often than not, i am discontented with me ‘social’ life. Friends are supposed to just take me as i am, so why is that so hard? I know what acquaintances are and i hardly expect anything from those people, but friends? Nah…

‘Aren’t you tired of complaining about me? Because i’m tired of you complaining about me’. I hate it when i feel like i’m stuck in a friendship that i know i’m not happy in. I mean, seriously, i’m beginning to disgust myself; complaining every single time and still not able to do anything about it. I know somehow i’m learning something, but what?

What brought this out of me is the fact that i was chatting with an old friend and i swear, i wanted to cry. I miss us. I miss what we were. She really accepted me, and that is rare. I don’t know exactly what her feelings are/were but i felt really good when i was with her. I could talk to her about stuff and trust that she would listen and i won’t be scared that she would judge me or something. We’ve been through our ups and downs and still i love her. I doubt if we would’ve still been friends if she didn’t leave; the distance is both a blessing and a curse. I could go on and on about this friend that i miss so much, but i’m already crying.

Sometimes i feel so alone in the midst of people and that is the worst kind. Run to and from God so many times, i’m always scared to go back. I don’t mean to blaspheme but there are things God can’t directly do and i’m too stupid to notice when he does it indirectly. I’ve prayed, read my Bible, sang…i’ve done a lot but those can only go as far.

I have this friend and he’s always complaining about how i’m not ‘deep’ with anybody. Don’t know how else to tell him i don’t see the point in that. I mean, how am i supposed to be ‘deep’ when i don’t feel comfortable enough with you? Everybody says people don’t understand them and i hate to be a clichè but it’s true.

Sometimes i feel like i’m some sort of freak show. Some weird twisted sort of entertainment. ‘Isn’t she so funny? She reacts in the strangest of ways’. I figured if i was there for people when they needed me, they would do the same for me. I’m pathetic. They don’t even know how to be there for me…i don’t know myself. I’m that ‘friend in need’, not good enough for fair weatherness.

I’m dark. Pardon me for not being ‘sunshiney’. I don’t just want to be that person. I have come to like myself but i get so much ‘hatred’ i can’t help but hate myself sometimes.

Why i like christianity? This God has been presented to me as someone who accepts me no matter what. No matter how many times i fall or mess up, He is always there ready to take me back as long as i mean it. There are no ‘special conditions’ for being in His presence. Yes, He is sovereign but He made me, not to be a subordinate but to be loved…by Him.

Maybe this loneliness is just in my head. Maybe i do have friends that love me as much as i love them or can love them; but i don’t feel it and therein lies the problem.

Some people wonder why i love to be alone, it’s just a classic case of a girl who feels she isn’t understood by most people.

I feel like i am floating through existence;
i feel like i am living after time;
i feel like i am forced to break the silence…..is that a crime?
I feel like we are all following shadows and shadows that don’t know where to go.
I feel like i am waiting for tomorrow while today waste away!
Its just the way i feel

Asa – the way I feel