The Masochist and Me !!!

Kleptomania (from Greek: κλέπτειν, kleptein, “to steal”, and μανία, “mania”) is an irresistible urge to steal items of trivial value. People with this disorder are compelled to steal things, generally, but not limited to, objects of little or no significant value, such as pens, paper clips, paper and tape. Some kleptomaniacs may not even be aware that they have committed the theft!!

21st October 2006 8:13pm

I was awaken by a terrible sound, one which I can’t decipher…… a chirping /scratching sound, I blinked twice but yet could see nothing……I panicked and cursed “Dear God, not this…haven’t you done enough already!!”

Then in a split second I remembered I was in a cryptic cell with no light source hence the darkness and the sound of course as translated by my brain are my dear companions………the roaches.

Fully awake now and trying to reflect on how I got here…………hmmmm, that tingling sensation again, can I pull this one off on imagination alone……………still going down memory lane, I heard the familiar voice;

Madam you don wake up? Sorry oh… never sign the form for me…..

I looked up and saw sergeant Okoro….…my goto guy at the station.

Okoro wetin I go sign again? I stood up to collect the papers but felt giddy and sat down quickly.

Madam sorry oh, those useless people them beat you well well oh, make I go carry key come make we go counter..

I felt woozy, must have been the slaps and the few blows to my head.

Madam oya make we go counter he said… he vehemently cursed NEPA, na only one candle dey and OC dey use am…….

Okoro again…..My regular tips did go a long way to help, he gets a monthly settlement after he helped me out with a case, My case!!!

I checked out the form, and of course it’s the only one I get whenever I make my frequent appearance to the station. Sincerely I had to laugh out loud….. Sergeant Okoro already filled out my details, and he sure knew the possessions that accompany me to the station (1 Blackberry Phone, 1 Nokia E7, 1Honda Accord 2006 Model, 1 Vendi Purse, A Laptop Computer and other stuff programmed to be in a lady’s hand bag).
I signed as required and waddled back to my cell.


GIRL ONE: You promised to help, you can’t back out now……. I need that Novel back, it’s for Senior Kachi, I am as good as dead if I don’t return it before prep is over!!

GIRL TWO: Seriously you have to get it……..i can’t imagine fetching water at awkward hours of the night for the rest of the term, you have to fulfill your sisterhood pledge!!

ME: buh buh but…the matron is still awake, I said when she is asleep!!!

TOGETHER: She is!!!!! Can’t you hear her snoring?

I braced myself; my heart was pounding hard, adrenaline gushing through my veins……. I had to do this to earn my place in the hostel…..I tiptoed all the way around her Large size, gently opened the drawer and pulled out the novel. With a smug smile on my way face and half way through the door I felt a strange sensation…….a wetness between my thighs up to my groin region… can’t be the monthly visitor, I ditched her last week…….what is this?

A groan escaped my lips, then a tingling sensation……..the tingling increases, It’s like this fuzzy warm tingle, it started from my toes, it feels like I’m coasting in this super sensitive and awesome state where my whole body is simultaneously tense and relaxed. My breathing is labored, feels like I just ran a race – like my lungs are tired. Then I felt it travel in a wave all the way up to my head. I wouldn’t describe it as an explosion, though I’ve heard that before. It’s more like a powerful wave of blankness……’s kind of like being knocked out for a bit. Then I come-to (so to speak) in what has to be the most relaxed and happy state ever.

All these happened in a split second but it felt like eternity, what I was to know a few months later as an ORGASM.


It was after lights out, the soldiers were parading the camp in search of defaulters to bully and extort as usual. I was shagging with a fellow corp member behind the make shift tent used by the traders during the day…………I was stressed and needed an outlet. But this dude can’t take me there…..he probably needs a manual. I made up my mind to do it again…………………I still had scars from last time, but I needed this badly.

I walked into the hostel and saw what I was looking for all along; there she was holding the phone in her loose hand snoring lightly…..without hesitating I yanked it off of her and made for the exit……..Two steps, Three steps, Four and then I heard it……”Thief thief thief….ole ole…barawo”

And there it was…..that orgasmic feeling, a mind blowing one………….i practically felt myself levitating, making all sort of funny sounds until the first slap landed on my face!!


It’s been a while I had “THE ORGASM”, don’t get me wrong…I have a boyfriend who has got the skills but…….i am a junkie and I need a fix, I have gathered from experience that the larger the risk involved the bigger the reward, if you get what I mean.

So today I decided I was going to do the ultimate……I am going to do it in a mall.
I filled up my shopping cart with the essentials, then I started my ostentatious shopping……………picking stuff at random, especially brightly colored packs. You can only afford to do that when you earn a 7 figure salary per month.

Deal done…………I was so elated as I pushed my trolley briskly past the security personnel, with the box of chocolate carefully hidden in my favorite handbag.
My legs were trembling and I could barely wait for it…………

Madam!!! Can I search your Bag please?

And why would you want to do that? I asked with a permanent smile on my face;

Just company policy….is there anything in your possession you forgot to pay for?

Nah nothing that I know of, Thank you sire, do have a nice day.

Then I may have to ask you to…………………..
His voice trailed off as I made a dash for my car, he followed and what ensured was……..… guessed right, the beating of my life. I got the fix and a whole lot more.
Here I am sitted on the cold floor of my cell thinking………………………when will Teni come to bail me out?

“The masochist: “I sent my tormentor hurrying hither and thither in the service of my suffering and desire.””

-Mason Cooley


16 thoughts on “The Masochist and Me !!!

  1. Lovely Lovely! Loved the part she had to resort to thiefing as the shagging wasnt doin it for a mind blowing Orgasmic experience! Lool.
    Kleptos tho… Smh. I guess we ….*scratch that* I can never understand the high. Yeah????

  2. Omg… This is sick. When I saw “masochist” I was like “oh, its some S&M shiii… Cool!” But this some through-the-roof kind of sick. Do these people really exist? :O

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s