#NP How do I tell her ► R.Kelly, something must be wrong with my music player, it’s like the fourth time this song is playing….it’s either i set it on repeat unknowingly or I have got a shitty playlist…..#shikenan, but the dreadful part is me relating to the song or vice versa. How do you tell someone you don’t love them anymore…. love is a feeling u can’t quantify….things would have been a lot easier. If it goes like;’ hey, I am outta love’ just like your gas or DSTV subscription….but as it is with everything human……….. Complications d(0_0)b…….Don’t get me wrong , I am not going to do the whole cliché thing…..’It aint you but me’


 I met oluchi at a fast food joint, as usual I was in company of friends and of course they are girls. There she was looking so sweet with a confused look on her face, I prolly figured her guy stood her up…….how do I up my game? No asking for digits of course or else Tinam will have my balls for dinner….yels oh she is mother Hen like that. So I waited for the time-window frame, all ya physicist know what I am talking about – Schrödinger Eqn, she just won’t stop staring at the door, picked up her phone and hit speed dial……a ten seconds conversation ensured and she cursed out openly….such vulgarities from such a small mouth….and of course that gave me a solution to my Time- space conundrum. I quickly wrote on the paper napkin ‘if he makes u curse then he aint worth it…add me 31E2***’ walked up to her and said ‘this napkin is for your tears but read the message before soiling it’. She read it….nah no guy is worth my tears……..but thanks all the same was her response……for a VGBG that was all I needed, a convo starter….and I said not even tears of joy, I bet u aint shed those in a while….. She looked up and smiled….I see you don’t give up easily….my name is Lizzy but Oluchi to strangers, have a seat pls.

My name is Kelvin, and Kelvin it is to strangers too, too bad I can’t take up your offer…..see that feisty girl over there…the one in the pink gown, that’s my girlfriend and she is pretty furious……call me I said to her as I mouthed out my digits.   Back to my table, Tinam was all over me with her look of disgust and of course the mandatory EFCC questions…who was that? I feigned ignorance and ask if she was ready to leave….was kinda mad at her, not for the whole personal bodyguard role she likes to play but for the hole her friend was about to put in my pocket with her take away request.


It was a week after the whole debacle at the joint that I received a call from a strange number. Just closed from work and dead tired, can’t wait to get home to my warm bed. I picked the phone and at once I knew who the caller was…..Lisa, Linda, Lydia……just can’t remember her name (yes I am bad with names like that). I am ready to take you up on your offer….the tears of joy stuff…..and I went…. excuse me, who am I speaking with?  For a while I thought I hit the end button cause of the silence. Then I heard the voice….so you forget easily, never mind I called, take care….and I was like…..you wish!!! Wats up oluchi? Hope u good? Where u @?


I am on seventh street, opposite that MTN billboard, can you come pick me? I heard desperation in  her voice……and as a gentleman, the first rule is never to ignore a damsel in distress. Did a sharp u-turn without regard for the traffic lights but who cares, this is Naija.

Hello Chic where are you, I am parked across the street, Blue car, white neon Headlights


Dunno if it’s you I see, but…….did you just put off your headlights? okay I see you.


Few minutes later she was in my car looking all hawt and sexy……..hello there stranger?

And she goes is it ok if I sleep at your place tonight?


Erm Erm……you want to sleep at my place? You don’t even know me?


Never mind i knew it was the wrong move, just drop me off at the next stop.


Okay Okay, my God you are Feisty!!!!!! You want to sleep over, then sleep it is.


Hope i am not getting in the way of anything?


Nah, not to worry, nothing i can’t handle.


Here i am with a strange lady, not thinking of anything but the show down………men agro na bastard sha, since i aint getting any from Tinam at the moment, then this must be manna from heaven.

We barely made it to my place before she jumped on me, she was all over me, kissing and fondling………chai, this is the life (Rick Ross’s voice)………

I didn’t even bother taking off my clothes. As soon as the bedroom door was shut, i drew her forcefully to myself. She felt my member against her thigh and fought hard to hide her delight. She wondered if i was getting it from my woman…….

As i stroked her breasts through her shirt i whispered, “No bra. You came prepared.” She had obviously.No panties either, she said.

I swiftly pulled her shirt over her head, freeing her dainty breasts and sunk my lips onto them, biting her nipples. Hard!!!

From the response i got i knew she liked it……..Hmmmm, rough sex, i haven’t had that in a while.

 She noticed the slippery, sticky feeling between her upper thighs……..

Putting my arms around her waist, i lifted her onto the bed. She spread her legs and looked at me invitingly…


…she hadn’t expected me to go down on her or for it to be that good. My tongue bedazzled her and felt like it had always been a part of her, her lips welcomed me, she coated my face with…….

……I stopped just as suddenly as I’d started. Without further ado I unzipped my pants, brought out the thing and started the ride. Grabbing her arse and pulling her in one direction, i thrust fervidly in the other. I slammed myself into her groin harder and deeper, It was brutal. It was intense. It was painful. It was paradise.


The next time she was on top, dictating the tempo……


This of course was 6 months ago…..now i have had enough of the ‘fuckbuddy’ thing, she misunderstood SEX for BONDING and LUST for LOVE, i am done and out but how do i tell her? Honestly i have grown fond of her, the calmness, the petite shape, spotless set of teeth and a stride that could break necks…………..

I tried, trust me, i tried so hard but i just can’t replicate that feeling, she should have known better than to cross the line…you don’t mix business with pleasure.

How do you know when’s the right time to throw in the towel? What do you say when it’s all said and done? Where do you go to sort out your feelings? When nothing is like it was

There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart, I couldn’t keep this thing from falling a part


“Let He without Sin Cast the First Stone”


3 thoughts on “FWB

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