I Am Now Old

So @s_Hotzs is back here with jars of creative juice………….ehn ehn now, if i dont blow my trumpet who will?  i will just delve into this thing. The other day I was reading a post by @thetoolsman on TNC, yes oh, make i famz small…………..it was a light topic but deeply touching……..i will advice you read it here Your Father before you continue with this……….or whichever you want to do, just read !!!

*Ever think what a loved one thinks about you before their demise? Ummm…….. tough call right?

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Acceptance is the first step to……………………………… sorry I forgot nobody recovers from being old.

My memory fails me. I would have loved to remember my rough and tumble play. I often wonder, “What’s it like to be a child?” It feels like an eternity. I try desperately to hold on to what is left of my thinning recollection, but it escapes me. I cannot keep it between my ears. It’s like trying to lock the wind in my fist. Futile!! !

I watch them carefully. I see me in their eyes, I see me in their every breath, in their frown, in their every smile. I am truly blessed to have them. They are my past as much as they are my future. They remind me, allow me to hold the wind. And still with much pride I look to the day of their becoming, it gives me hope for the days to come.

I remember the day of my becoming. I realize now that it was indeed not just a day,  It was my life’s journey. We are definitely clay in the hands of one much greater. With everyday I took on a new shape. With every new face I met, I understood diversity. With every girl I kissed, I learnt passion. With every ball I kicked, I gained strength. With every passing loved one, I felt grief. With every one of mother’s sweet embrace, I took in love.

There is a quiet that has come upon me, the realization that the days ahead are surely shorter than the days that have gone by. I am not afraid. Fear does not plague me. Rather, there is a knowing within me, a certainty. One I cannot explain. My silence gives room for pondering. Time has answered many of my questions, but there are many more. I know with certainty that time will surely cheat me of the answers to my deepest concerns. So I say a little prayer, “Lord, I know that I must journey on without them. Please keep all of them in that place you call the hollow of your hands, they are so dear to me. My time is short and my strength eludes me.… ”.

I am old, my eyes are heavy. I do not resist as sleep calls. There is just one thing left to do before I rest my tired limbs till the sun shines again. “Dear lord thank you for a life well lived…. (zzzzzzz)”

P.S Big S/O to @Ngufy for taking time out to edit this piece……Thanks for having my back !!!

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Imperfect Me !!!

Karma is a bitch…….but hangover is Bitch’er’
Thud! Thud!! Thud!!! Goes the pounding headache in my head;
Dear Lord, take this pain away and i will never do spirits again…….yimu.

It’s a Sunday morning, after all i did last night (crooked smile), i ought to be the first person in church seeking absolution……..but the cranberries said “Salvation is Free” , Linkin park: “We don’t choose God, he chooses us“, don’t get me wrong if it were a Friday i prolly be going to the mosque.

Hmmmmm…………Sex With a Stranger!!! I can cancel that out on my “Things to do before 30”.

Oh shit!!! She is still on my bed, how do i get rid of her; she was pretty wasted yesterday so it was easy………now she is as sober as a monk?? *ghen ghen*, well issues like this tend to sort themselves.

Didn’t know i was going to score last night, broke and things………..insert *Hustler Ambition*, funny how peeps be living the Champagne life on a diet coke budget?

After all is said and done……..my pricky conscience won’t let me be……….Tryna figure out what to do next when the song on my music player caught my attention, menh !! Did that short black boy kill it or what, it’s a perfect rendition about imperfection and i can relate to it in all ways possible…………Enjoy:

Some have no imperfection
They never need correction
Never ask for direction
They’re number one selection
They’re sweet like Reese’s peas

Me i have plenty freckles
Among the sheep, I am black cos of procrastination,
I fall into much temptation
I’m never seeing cheddah (Money)
Know when I should know better.

I hear my name gotta go settle with my P, will finish this up sometime 🙂

Disclaimer: @MI_Abaga thanks for the Lyrics